Dear Sweet Child... {warning: this may tug at your heart strings}

I had an unexpected visit from a good friend.  We talked about alot of things.  When we get together, I am amazed at how much we talk about and at how much we just don't shut up.  It's like we are so excited to be together, well, I know I am.  I enjoy her visits, even if they are far and few between, I mean, on the "one of one" type sense.  We do get together quite often in the presence of mutual friends, but one on one, it's extra special.

One of the things we were talking about was grief and how we sometimes use art as a way of healing.  We went into some pretty DEEP conversation (if you know me well, you know I LOVE that!), but I can't get into that right now, other than there was a time of grief that she drew, but no longer does.  Anyhow,  I recently made a bracelet and posted it on Facebook and asked her if she would be interested in helping me make some.  Cause yes, I am anticipating selling many (hey, I have to have a goal in mind ya know).  She sounded interested and said she would think about it.  So we went on to talk about our million and one other topics, then I ask her if she has ever done art journaling, she thought for a bit, then I asked her if she liked Mixed media, and she didn't have a clue what I was talking about.  Can you see a pattern here?  Yup, I'm trying my best to reel her into the world of us crazy artsy people, but I am failing.  So I thought, uhmm I'm gonna try one more thing.  So I asked her if she ever scrapbooked and she told me about her sister doing it but that it didn't intrigue her much.  I failed.. oh well, what's a girl to do?  Yup, you got it, try onnnnneee more thing.  Can you tell another pattern here? hahaha.  So, I showed her a page that I had scrapbooked last November at a scrapbooking retreat I attended.  Here it is.  It's me.

Now you wonder what's written in that little note....Well first I want you to picture yourself in this layout, and you write yourself a note like this:

"Dear sweetest child,

You will grow up to be a beautiful child with a heart of gold.  You will be faced with many challenges and they will teach you how strong you are.  You will have days where doubt will set in, but you will never lose hope.  You will be blessed with many wonderful caring people who will truly love you.  Enjoy your beautiful life little one."

So I have these moments that "I'm smarter" (that I usually am..lol)... yes I know that sounds strange, but only a handful of people know what I mean when I say that.  Anyways (sorry if you know me, I sometimes ramble too)... So, I asked my friend, if she has written a letter to her child.  And she tells me no.  So then I go on to say, why don't you write him a letter (he's only 10), and tell him what you wish for him, or whatever you need to say.  But don't give it to him.  And imagine if you keep writting him letters over the years, and as he grows older, you give them to him.  Perhaps the day before he gets married.  Imagine this grown man then writing you a Dear Mom letter and reads it in front of everyone at his wedding.

p.s. do you feel that thug in your heart right now?  GOOD !!!  And if you don't, I have no clue what to say about that.

Soooo.....can you believe that my friend AND my husband both started to tear?  They felt that thump!

Yes, I have those moments....  Where not only my heart tugs, but it pulls at others hearts.  That my friend is what humanity is all about.  I LOVE IT!  I ABSOLUTELY FRAGILISTICALLY LOVE IT!  IT'S WHAT MAKES ME WANT TO BREATHE, TO LIVE.  Connecting with people on a level that so many of us tend to ignore, or fear, for whatever legitimate reasons we may have. IT FEELS SO GOOD!  I hope you know how good it feels too.

Garden

Whatever grows in your life is what has been planted there. It's never too late to "weed" your garden and make room for the new growth. Get ready to lay the seeds of your wildest dreams and don't forget to nurture it, give it time and attention. You can do it! ~ME

Bleh

I'm finding it difficult to get into the Christmas spirit. I always do.  Christmas isn't one of my favorite holidays, mainly due to family dynamics (it is what it is) but also for me it should be a time of family gatherings, sharing traditions and living in the moment.  But mostly of giving, giving of yourself, giving love, peace, joy and forget all about the drama and commercialism.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy receiving presents, but I prefer giving (as long as people appreciate them!!) but let's face it, most peole around me can all afford to get what we need. But we all seem to prefer to stress ourselves out and spend way more money than we should, or need.

Two years ago, in early December, I had my first partial knee replacement.  I only had 2 weeks notice of the surgery, so I had to finish up a whole bunch of stuff at work, which left me no time to do my Christmas shopping. And after the surgery, I was so drugged up that I literrally don't remember much of the 4 months of my life.  So hubby and I decided to make donations to World Vision on behalf of our family members, as their Christmas gifts.  We carefully picked who would give student books, packsacks, buy a goat, a pig, etc, we truly enjoyed picking these out and tried to personalize them.  We were very happy doing this and we couldn't wait to see our family's reactions.  I must admit, I was dissapointed. Some family members were grateful, some, I don't know.  Well I guess I do, since they didn't say a darn thing.  Isn't Christmas about giving??? Come on!

Since I met my husband, we have been spending our Christmas' on the East Coast.  This year, we are spending it with my family in Northern Ontario. I won't get into it, but the family dynamics make me cringe, but I'm going to give it one more try.  I think it helps that we are doing something different this year.  My mom had decided she wasn't buying gifts, my sister had asked about exchanging gifts, and I came up with the idea of doing the Chinese Exchange game (thanks to my friends who suggested it) and that's what we are doing.  It looks like it will be a fun game and God knows, we need some laughter in my mom's house at Christmas time.  And, I'm hoping that we can get back into the only one tradition I had started, sliding down the mountain.  Hopefully, we'll be able to get some ski-dooing in too!

So needless to say, I haven't been very creative on the artsy side, other than making about 50 cards.  But those are at the floral shop for sale.  Cause God knows I will not be sending those out, only to see them appear on the floor, all torn and trampled on!  Yes that's happened - more than once! If only they knew that some of those cards can take me 2 hours to make! like geeze!

So take some time and think about what Christmas really means to you.  And in the hustle and bustle of it all, try to give a little bit of your time, to those in need.  And I'm not only talking about giving money, but how about giving of yourself.

Actually, take a moment and look at this video....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_3BEwpv0dM

Peace..not War

I am always sad on this day... I cry so much.  I hurt for the soldiers who sacrificed their lives, who lost their lives, and who are living today re-living the hell.  And I hurt for their families.  I cry for the little kids who don't get to see their mommy & daddy cause they went to heaven.  I cry for the spouse who never gets to grow old with their loved one... and I cry for everyone who is so touched by all of this.


I am also so thankful to have been given the priveledge to work with many peacekeepers who have gone on international missions to make other countries a better place to live.  I am grateful to family and friends who continue to work with veterans & their families, and to our soldiers & families, and to those who work in policing as well.  I SALUTE YOU!

R.I.P. To Uncle Frank Ames (Korean War), Uncle Harry MacCoy (Korean War), to C/Supt Doug Coates who died during the Haiti earthquake while commanding an UN Mission - you were an awesome boss!  R.I.P. to Martin Goudreault from my hometown who died this year. ...just to name a few.

Today, I realized that I grew, as when I cried, I also felt an overwhelming sense of relief & joy.   I am so grateful to life and to live in such a beautiful country. OH CANADA!

Uncle Harry MacCoy

C/Supt Doug Coates funeral

C/Supt Doug Coates - R.I.P.

Sometimes we are at war with our own selves. Making peace with that part of ourselves is a huge step towards peace.  It is worth it to travel to whatever lengths you need to go to feel peace. Sometimes its in front of you, sometimes you have to make really tough choices or go to great lengths to feel at peace.  Whatever it takes, it is worth it.  Always go where their ispeace, especially the peace within your heart.  May there be peace within you.